Posted on 10:52am on Monday 20th February 2017
Moody Swedish goalie-botherer Zlatan Ibrahimovic became the first player to take the weekly honours for a third time, with a 36-point haul in Week 25 of the Bragging Rights Dream Team Fantasy League. The pony-tailed point-snaffler led the way with Europa League and F.A. Cup goal action in a week that saw many top stars rested altogether and only Spurs’ Harry Kane posing any significant threat .
Although no Fantasy boss has both Ibra and Kane in their squad, 8 of the 11 managers do boast one or other of the prolific pair – and it was no surprise to find that the three lowest scores were from mavericks who opted to look elsewhere for fantasy firepower. Managers Doherty (Jesus/Sanchez/Lukaku), Craig (Costa/Giroud) and Moffatt (Vardy/Lukaku) all suffered from under-powered forward lines and in Craig’s case, it was sufficient to see him plummet to the foot of the table.
The news of Craig’s demise was greeted with an outpouring of relief at the Synagogue, where previous bottom-dweller Moore-G rose to the giddy heights of 10th place. Full of new-found confidence, he removed his disguise, donned a club cap at a jaunty angle and strode purposefully into the Chairman’s shop to pave the way for later talks on a contract extension. Unfortunately, the angle of the cap’s peak obscured vision on his left side, and he turned straight into a side of beef hanging from a hook, causing it to swing violently and knock over a pyramid display of assorted preserves, chutneys and jams. Hastily reaching into his bag for an emergency disguise, he slipped into a dog costume and ran off down the road barking loudly and trailing a string of sausages behind him.
The top of the table saw Moore-T regain the overall lead following last week’s blip in form. The introduction of extra training (there are now six 4-hour sessions per day) and the relocation of the showers into a bed of stinging nettles certainly has an effect, as his players responded to establish a 23-point lead at the summit. His post-match press conference took a bizarre turn when he refused to acknowledge any rumours of tiredness among his squad, branding recent reports of a yawning goalkeeper as “fake news”. “Every one of you is a liar”, he trumped at the assembled media. “I’ve got a 200-point lead at the top of the table, I’ve already won next season’s title, and anyone who says otherwise isn’t looking for the real story”. With a final message of “Release the hounds”, he was escorted from the stage by his aides, as a pack of ravenous Rottweilers feasted on the press pack.
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|Ryan's Rangers||Ryan Shaw||87|
|Smokies Revenge||Paul Cargin||87|
|Bannsiders Utd||Robert Shaw||86|
|Conte Kante||Adrian Moore||71|
|Tea & Busquets||Andrew Moffett||67|
|Tom's Legends||Tom Moore||62|
|Luk Who's Talking||Dec Winters||47|
|Take Zlat||Dec Winters||47|
|Suerte Del Diabolo||Philip Craig||45|
|It's Lee-Roy||Paul Cargin||33|
|Bobby Charlton Athletic||Conor Campbell||33|
|Conte Kante||Adrian Moore||32|
|Irish Rovers||Shea Wilson||29|
|Bannsiders Utd||Robert Shaw||29|
|The Rising Force||Philip Craig||29|
|Tom's Legends||Thomas Moore||23|
|Murder On Zidane's Floor||Andrew Moffett||20|
|Ryans Marauders||Ryan Shaw||12|
|Top Gooners||Shea Winters||7|
|Banbridge Town FC||Jack Moore||5|
|Suerte Del Diabolo||Philip Craig||1933|
|Ryans Marauders||Ryan Shaw||1844|
|Bannsiders Utd||Robert Shaw||1617|
|Tom's Legends||Thomas Moore||1412|
|Bobby Charlton Athletic||Conor Campbell||1409|
|Tea & Busquets||Andrew Moffett||1352|
|Conte Kante||Adrian Moore||1312|
|Tom's Legends||Tom Moore||1233|
|Irish Rovers||Shea Wilson||1217|
|Smokies Revenge||Paul Cargin||1167|
|Luk Who's Talking||Dec Winters||1157|
|Ryan's Rangers||Ryan Shaw||1130|
|Bannsiders Utd||Robert Shaw||1129|
|Take Zlat||Dec Winters||1121|
|It's Lee-Roy||Paul Cargin||1105|
|Top Gooners||Shea Winters||1103|
|Conte Kante||Adrian Moore||1081|
|Banbridge Town FC||Jack Moore||1021|
|Murder On Zidane's Floor||Andrew Moffett||997|
|The Rising Force||Philip Craig||892|
Remember the Dream Team week ends at midnight on Sunday. Monday games count for the following week.